A Written Summary of My Appearance On Howard Stern

2/23/2010 I was on the Howard Stern Show. There are some legal and contractual issues that I do not understand that I believe will prohibit me from posting video of the appearance. Mark from http://www.marksfriggin.com/ writes summaries of the show every day. He has given me permission to post his summary of my appearance. A big thank you to Mark.

You can find the original here: Mark’s Friggin, Sussy The Lighting Guy

Oh, and to explain why I am Sussy, for those of you who don’t know me as Sussy. The first year I started working at Stern is the first year they instituted Secret Santa. I was new to the show and unknown. Baba Booey (Garry Del’Abate) picked my name on air for Secret Santa and asked, “Who the hell is this?” Artie Lange, quick of wit as always, chimed up, “Sussy, I know Sussy!”  The name “Sussy” hadn’t been uttered before that and Artie didn’t actually know me. Well the guys in the control room heard that and it stuck like glue. I have been Sussy ever since. Some people here only know me as that, and even my bosses call me it. I guess considering the show I work on, I could have a lot worse for nick-names.

Sussy The Lighting Director Leaving The Show. 02/23/10. 8:45am
Howard said that something else that was weird was going on. He said that one of their lighting engineers is leaving the show to go ride his bike around the world. Howard said the guy is Sussy. Sussy came in so Howard asked him how he has the money to give up his job there to go out and do that. Sussy said that the hard thing is working with Scott DePace listening to his politics. Howard said he doesn’t have a hard job there. He said the lighting must be pretty much set. He said it is pretty much set except when they have musical guests in.

Sussy said that he started to look to the future since Howard might be leaving at the end of the year. He said he started to look into doing this trip. Howard said that if he’s going to develop a career he shouldn’t step away to ride a bicycle around the world. Sussy said he’s looking to do other things too though. He wants to do some organic farming and he’s going to be going around the world to look into that more. He said he’s going to learn farming techniques and how to go green with that. Sussy said he wants to see the world and he’s going to check out the techniques around the world by going on this trip.

Howard asked Sussy if he has rich parents or something. Sussy said he doesn’t at all. He said he’s saving up money himself to do this. He has about 30 grand saved up right now and he’ll be biking so it won’t cost him that much. He’s looking for sponsorships and he has a bike shop that’s sponsoring him already. Howard said that sounds crazy to him.

Robin asked Sussy if he’s going to be camping and stuff. Sussy said he is and he has saddlebags for the bike. Gary said he heard that he has a girlfriend and they’re wondering if she’s going with him. Sussy said that she is going to go with him. He said that he’s going to leave her behind for a couple of months though.

Howard said his parents must be freaking out. Sussy said that they do think he’s kind of nuts for doing this. He said if he were his father he’d tazer him.

Robin said she thinks this is a great idea but she never had the balls to do anything like this. Howard said she doesn’t do it because she wants to work and make money.

Howard said Sussy’s father must think he’s nuts. Sussy said his father likes it and he’s been helping him plan out the trip. He’s hoping to be able to live off the money he’s got saved up and from sponsors. Sussy said that he’s been sending out letters trying to get some organic food sponsors. He said you can find out more at OrganicFarmingTech.com

Howard took a call from a guy who said that this sounds like the kind of story you’d hear where the guy ends up in an Asian prison camp. Sussy said he’ll be going through Thailand, China and others. Howard said he could end up like Lisa Ling’s sister in jail over there.

Howard told Sussy that the Chinese aren’t going to put up with anything over there. Sussy was laughing but Howard told him that’s serious. Sussy said he knows that and his mom has been worrying about that too. Howard said that Bill Clinton isn’t going to fly over to save him like he did with the Ling chick and her friends. Howard said Clinton will be going after his girlfriend.

Howard saw a picture of Sussy’s girlfriend and said that she’s cute. He said ”what a waste” and said that she’ll probably end up in a Chinese prison with Sussy. Howard said the picture they just showed will end up being the shot they show in the news.

Howard said he thinks that this is absurd. Sussy is planning on taking three years off to do this. Gary said that Scott DePace was saying that he’s a great worker but he was also saying that if he came looking for work after doing something like this, he’s not sure he could hire him. He said he’d think he was lazy for doing that.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that he’s going to go around the world and climb all of the big trees in the world. Howard said he never had a dream like this. He said he never even dreamt of radio stardom. He just wanted to have a job. He said he liked being paid to do something. Howard said he can’t imagine telling his dad he was going to ride a bike for 3 years.

Howard said that he can imagine Sussy at 40 renting a room from Yucko the Clown or Bob Levy. He can picture him living with High Pitch Eric.

Sussy said he’ll be gone by April of 2011. All this year he’s going to be taking smaller trips and he’s planning the big trip for next year. Howard asked when he’s leaving there. Sussy said that if he re-signs he’s going to leave. He said if Howard retires then he’s gone anyway.

Howard asked if he’s going to Guatemala. He said he would like to go through there. He said he has a touring bike with big fat tires on it. He said that he needs the fat tires to handle the weight of the stuff he has to carry. Sussy said that he races in the city right now. Robin asked if he’s one of those bikers who yell at the runners in the park. Howard said there are a lot of assholes like that out there who yell at people to get out of the bike lane.

Howard asked Sussy about the bike riding and if he has friends who he drafts off of. Sussy said they do all of that and they have tactics they use that make it like chess. Howard said it’s nothing like chess. He also told Sussy that he’s going to ruin his life if he stays so obsessed with the biking. He said that if Sussy runs off to bike he’s not going to have a cool job anymore. Howard said that he’s still young and his girl isn’t going to put up with that kind of thing forever.

Robin said that it could work out. If the girlfriend is into it then maybe it will work out. Howard said that it’s rare. Robin told Sussy to go for it because it takes people like him to break the mould.

Howard goofed on the idea of this bike ride for a few minutes. He was talking about what Sussy will end up doing when he gets done with the trip. He wished him luck but it didn’t sound like much of a life plan.

Sussy said that he was thinking about going to the peace corps but his father talked him out of that. His father liked this idea much better. Howard said the old man must be getting kind of loopy too then.

Howard imagined Sussy working in a bike shop when he’s done and his girlfriend coming in to buy a bike now that she’s not with him anymore. He said it would be like that Harry Chapin song. He sang the song about Sussy and his girl. Sussy didn’t know the song he was talking about. Howard said he should play it for him. Howard found the song and played him Harry Chapin’s ”Taxi.” Howard said that this is Sussy after his trip. Howard made up some lyrics for Sussy and goofed on him a little bit. Howard said this is some way to throw your life away.

Fred said that they could have Sussy in a Pedicab instead of a taxi. Howard and Fred made up some lyrics about him and had him peddling his girlfriend around in the Pedicab. They had some fun goofing around with the whole story and the song.

Howard said this is some plan Sussy has. He said that he wants to write a book when he’s done with this. Sussy said he’s going to do a photo journal of the whole thing too. Howard was goofing on photographers yesterday so Sussy knew Howard was going to make fun of that.

Howard asked Scott DePace what he thinks about this. Scott said he thinks this is irresponsible. He said that Sussy has a future and he’s throwing it all away. He said he’s going to lose all of his contacts.

Howard asked Sussy how much he bikes. He rides 6-7 days a week and he does a few hours a day. He said that he does 6 hours a day on the weekend. He said he goes over the bridge into Jersey.

Howard said biking is something fun you do when you’re a kid. He said that it’s time to grow up. Sussy said it keeps him in shape and he enjoys it. He talked about the kind of camera he has too. Fred threw in another line for the song where Sussy is pawning his camera.

Howard saw he had a tattoo on him and it was a bike sprocket. Howard said he’s got a lot of time on the bike and he must not have a lot of interaction. Sussy said he’s on a team so he spends a lot of time talking to those people. Howard asked how they draft and talk. Sussy said they are able to talk while they’re doing that.

Howard said he may actually join Sussy because he may not be working by then. He said he can have Ronnie drive him around to places to ride his bike.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard has busted balls on Lance Armstrong and now Sussy. Howard said that he’s not a pro like Lance was. He ended up hanging up on that guy.

Another caller said that even in this country it’s tough. He said that he’s a truck driver and there are a lot of shitholes around. He said that there are people who could end up raping him on the side of the road while he’s out bike riding. Sussy said that might prepare him for the Thai jail time.

Robin said she thinks this is beautiful. Howard said he wishes he could go out and do something like this but he would never do it. He said that Robin could do it now that she’s worked an entire life time. Sussy hasn’t build his career yet and now he wants to go out and do this stuff. Robin said he’ll figure it all out while he’s out on the road. Howard said he’s worried about this kid. Robin said Howard is too hard and strict. She said that not everyone has to do it his way.

Howard and robin asked questions about how he’s going to get water and things like that. Sussy has a water purifier that he’ll bring along. robin said that he might be the guy who brings them breaking news from around the world when he sees it going on.

Howard wished Sussy luck with his plan. He said maybe he’ll turn something into a business he finds out there. Howard said he is very focused on just one thing himself. Howard said he doesn’t think everything is about money but building a career is important. Howard said he does a great job there and he wishes him the best. Robin said that it was nice to meet him before he goes. Sussy said he’s going to see her every day there. He’s not leaving yet.

Howard asked Gary what he would do if his kids told him they wanted to take 3 years off to bike. Gary said he thinks he’d be bummed if they did that. Howard asked Gary how old he was when he met him. Gary was just 23 and he hasn’t left yet. Howard said that he could have missed out on the job of his life if he had done something like this. Gary said he talked to Will about it and they were thinking that maybe the lighting job isn’t that big of a deal to Sussy. Robin said she can see this is going to drive Howard nuts the rest of the day. Howard said it definitely will. He’s already bothered by it. They had to go to break after that.

Photo Credit, Jason Kaplan Stern Show Photographer